Cognitive Diffusion: Changing Our Relationship with Thoughts

Uncomfortable or negative thoughts are not only normal — they’re the price of admission to a full and meaningful life. In the quest to avoid or suppress these experiences, we often become fused with our thoughts, mistaking them for absolute truths or rigid rules that demand obedience. This process is known as cognitive fusion.

What Is Cognitive Fusion?

Cognitive fusion occurs when our thoughts dominate our attention and dictate our behaviour. Rather than seeing thoughts as transient mental events, we treat them as literal truths. For example:

• “I’m not good enough.”

• “I always screw things up.”

• “People will think I’m incompetent.”

In this fused state, we act as if these thoughts are facts — obeying them, defending them, or trying to escape them. Over time, our behaviour becomes less flexible, disconnected from our values, and driven more by internal experiences than by the real consequences in our environment.

From Fusion to Flexibility: The Role of Cognitive Diffusion

Cognitive diffusion is the process of creating space between ourselves and our thoughts. Instead of getting hooked, we observe them as passing mental events — words, stories, or signals — not commands. This perspective shift enables us to evaluate the workability of our thoughts and take action in ways that align with our values.

Signs of Fusion

Fused thinking often shows up in patterns like:

• Ruminating over past mistakes or feared futures

• Harsh self-judgment or criticism of others

• Rigid rules about how life should be

• Limiting beliefs like “I can’t handle this”

• Negative self-concepts: “I’m not capable”

Practising Diffusion

To defuse from thoughts, consider:

• Asking: “What is the mind telling me right now?”

• Noticing the mind as a storyteller — always seeking patterns, explanations, and certainty, even when the world doesn’t offer it.

• Recognising that the mind often draws from past experiences, leans toward negativity bias, and aims to protect, sometimes at the cost of possibility and growth.

• Giving the story a name — “Here’s the I ’m-a-failure story again” — can create a sense of lightness and choice, rather than hearing it as truth.

Conclusion

Thoughts are not the enemy. But when we become entangled with them, they can steer us away from what matters most. Cognitive diffusion empowers us to change our relationship with thinking, not to stop thoughts, but to respond to them with greater awareness, flexibility, and intention.

In doing so, we create space to act not from fear, shame, or habit, but from purpose and values.